So tonight went ok.  We laid everything out on the table, talked about what happened, shared resentment that something so little had derailed what we had going.

I was fully prepared to tell him that I wasn’t ready to date him again and that it was going to take some time for me to be able to trust him again, when he tells me that he’s kind of been seeing someone for the past couple of weeks and that he doesn’t want to be the guy who dates two people.  I sat there quietly, kept it together, realized that despite my best efforts I still have feelings for him and that this news was not what I actually wanted to hear.

I could tell that he was genuinely upset and that this has been quite a game-changing 24 hours, which was oddly comforting to me.  I told him that I wanted to be friends again, but that I wasn’t going to overstep my bounds by thinking that we could go back to talking the way we did when we were seeing each other.  It’s not fair to me and it’s not fair to her.

I don’t know what will end up happening, and I doubt that this will go anywhere.  I don’t even know if I want it to go anywhere.  But I do know that I missed him and that I’m happy to at least be friends again.